The only explanation is LOVE

I imagine that being a parent is the closest things I may experience to being bi-polar.

Being just past 18 months in, our wee baby is growing like a weed but doesn't talk. We communicate through sign language and a series of grunts. Well, she does, we talk to her but I guess she doesn't have anything to say yet. Now that i think about it some more, i'm told that i was the same way. This makes thing particularly frustrating though. Because she doesn't talk, she whines a WHOLE lot to express her displeasure. This seems to happen quicker and quicker over the past couple of months. We go from nice and calm to literal weeping, wailing and the gnashing of teeth, with some good ol' throwing ones self on the floor for good measure. We entered the "terrible two's" at 16 months. Boundaries are tested along with our patience. And when you have sprinted far past where you assumed your breaking point was, you magically do something random and she's all smiles and giggles, and the only thought that occupies my mind is "THAT is not remotely near fair".  How can you spend the last three hours as a noise, flailing mess and just be the happiest ray of sunshine to ever exist  who's meer presence brings sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns? I was set in my anger and bordering on resentment, and you've ruined it all. HOW? The sleep deprivation, the loss of disposable income, the loss of time is now all meaning less because you are happy. A drop of love does truly ruin a whole cauldron of hate. 

The problem is that whatever does make her suddenly happy, changes frequently. Now for some of you older people, there are these things called "VIDEO GAMES". And in these games, you are trying to accomplish something, a goal, usually by completing a series of tasks or puzzles. At some point, they will introduce the mechanics of how to operate the puzzles. Now there are some frustrating games that intruduce these puzzles to you and make a big deal out of them, and just when you've mastered them, they throw those out and give you new ones that you have no context for. Welcome to parenting. So we go from having set routines to regressing to needing a bottle before bed or there is just no peace in our valley. Then that's not needed and now its a specific blanket. Next week let's forget the blanket and now I need to have a soother in my mouth and one in each hand. I can only guess what it's going to be next week. 

One hears the careless talk of others who have not been there and not done that. Parentes should be licensed, they should have to take a class, if i was in there shoes i'd... I've been doing my 10K race in parenting shoes, do a warm up lap before you get both feet in your mouth. People can't cope as well as others, especially in single parent homes. This is not an easy job. So if you have a concern about how someone is raising their kids, offer to help rather than heaping more bagage on them please.

That was a little off topic. Anyways, it's the oddest feeling holding your kid who's been conducting psychological warfare operations on you and your wife for the past 18hours and when she's suddenly happy, the past no longer matters as you bathe in the light of that happiness. You learn in the Bible that there are different types of love. Never has that point been driven home more clearly than it is in these times. Love is the only reason for it, and by the Grace of God am I blessed enough to understand it.

I don't have the answers, but I serve the one that does

- Just a Sheepdog